The Goomba Stomp

Mario hummed happily as he walked along the dusty path, keeping his eyes set forward to scan for any danger. It wasn't long before they caught glimpse of a prospective threat. A Goomba was ambling forward whilst balancing a bag on its head. What trickery was this?

Without hesitation, Mario sprang forth! He cut a mighty arc through the blue skies of the Mushroom Kingdom. Oh, what a fine day it was. A fine day to crush the forces of evil!

The Goomba's eyes snapped upward. It was too late to move out of the way! In an instant the soles of Mario's shoes made contact with the bag so cautiously perched atop the Goomba's head, crushing the bottle and herbs inside... and then they struck the head itself.

This Goomba's name was Alfred, who liked to go by his nickname, Short Al. He had gone out this fine day to purchase a bottle of tonic and some herbs which would cure his bedridden Goomba wife, named Nelly, who was suffering from a disease that was slowly killing her.

Thanks to Mario, she would die.

In the infitesimal instant between the bottle and herbs being crushed and the strike upon his head by Mario's feet, Al the Goomba's life flashed before his eyes.

His awkward years through Goomba High... Koopas shoving him in his locker... meeting that cute Goomba girl... but no, that relationship didn't work out, she wasn't the one. No. There SHE was... Nelly. In college, yes! The girl who would become bonded with him until death. And death was visiting them now. Was this truly the way it had to be?

Flashes, still. The wedding, with bells ringing and a beautiful Goomnut Cake resting atop a cloth-covered table... the romantic honeymoon on Delfino Island... and all of the subsequent happy moments in his life...

It was over. All of it was.

Alfred didn't even cry out; he didn't have the time to, so mute was his shock. As the pressure of Mario's bodily weight applied itself to Short Al, his cranium was shoved flat, as well as his brain. The brain fluid spilled out of Al's eye sockets along with all of the blood in his body. Every piece of him was crushed into oblivion as his game ended, the agony and pain becoming the last thing that he knew in this cruel world...

Mario did another little jump and flashed the peace sign.

"Yahoo!"